Thoughts on Parenting

Video On the Go

DVD makers are finally getting wise to the fact that many of us like to view movies on the go. You may have seen the phrase "Digital Copy" on newly-released DVDs. what this means is that there is a separate disc with a digital file on it - one that can be read by your computer and loaded onto your iPod or other portable player.

But what about all those movies you already own? How do you get those on your iPod or laptop without purchasing a digital version online? We use a free program called Handbrake, and it works beautifully. It is simple and easy to use, and comes in versions for Mac, Windows, and Linux (it's also open source, so you  programmer types can get the raw code).

Handbrake can encode any disc you have, and convert it to any size or format you want (iPod, PSP, laptop, TV, etc.). Though we don't do it very often, we have been saved on numerous occasions by being able to pull out my laptop or Elisa's iPod and give the kids something to watch when we're waiting at the doctor's office at naptime, or when the car breaks down and we're at the mechanic, or we're on a REALLY long road-trip...you get the idea!

Here's a screen Shot:

The Great American Backyard Campout

I hate to admit it (having grown up all around nature and camping in amazing places like Zion National Park  and Alaska), but there recently came a time when I gave up on camping. After a miserable trip with a 2- and 4-year-old in the middle of a Texas summer, I made a declaration to Duane that I had been afraid to make for years. I HATE camping. I hate sleeping on the ground, I hate getting dirty, I hate being hot and I really hate having to tromp through snake-infested grass to get to the bathroom in the middle of the freaking night. The nature-loving girl of old was gone, and she had been replaced by someone who greatly loved air conditioning, had really gotten used to her pillow top mattress and quadzillion count Egyptian cotton sheets, and, frankly, would be thrilled to never use another outhouse for the rest of her life.

Fortunately my declaration was made privately and Duane allowed me to take it back. Though somewhat relieved immediately after declaring my disdain for camping, I quickly came to realize that my perspective was a bit skewed after our mid-summer debacle. There really are so many invaluable things we and our children learn from camping -- things that we cannot learn any other way in our ultra busy modern life. The reason I love nature so much is because we spent so much time in it growing up. Without spending time in nature, I would never have grown to appreciate it enough to get past the little inconveniences of camping like sweating, being dirty and eating s'mores. With all the modern "conveniences" like cell phones, Blackberries and the internet, it is even more important to take a step back from technology, contemplate our role in this amazing planet that we inhabit and learn a little respect. So, here are a couple of things I learned and some tips that got me back to nature.

• Don't go camping when it's 90 degrees, especially if you're used to camping with Mummy bags in Alaska and you now live in Texas.

• Go camping with friends. Our latest camping trip with a couple who has kids the same age as ours was a dream. The kids had soooooo much more fun with friends around, and it was a lot of fun watching them have so much fun!

• Keep the food simple. Growing up we had elaborate breakfasts complete with eggs and toast made on a special campy-toasty thingy. Though we're not typically packaged food people, for the sake of simplicity, we have changed the rules for camping until we become pros enough to try our hand at fancier camp fare.

• Try it in the backyard first. We had a trial run in our living room, because our neighborhood is a little iffy, but camping at home is a great way to get your feet wet, so to speak.

This weekend is the perfect time to join thousands of other families (unless of course you live in Texas and will have to break my first rule) for The National Wildlife Federation's Great American Backyard Campout™ on Saturday, June 28. Spend time gazing at the stars, listening for the sounds of nocturnal animals, and swapping stories by the light of the lantern or flashlight. It’s a great way to pass along your love for the outdoors to future generations.

Register your campsite and get recipes, activities, wildlife guides, and more at www.backyardcampout.org.

The Great American Backyard Campout™ is sponsored annually by National Wildlife Federation, America’s conservation organization dedicated to protecting wildlife for our children’s future. Let's camp!

DIY Go-Paks

Every time our kids pass by the display of "Go-Paks" in the Grocery store, they are inexplicably thrown into begging, whining, and pleading mode. I can't figure out what the appeal of these things is for kids, but I know why they are so convenient for adults. We've used them on occasion when we needed to bring a snack somewhere "on the go."

The problem for us is that we sometimes get these "environmental" feelings that make us all icky inside when we buy things with excessive packaging that cause extra waste. Rather than buy individual servings of anything, we'd prefer to buy the largest size and divide it up ourselves.

Call me stupid, but it was only the other day that I figured out we could do our own "Go-paks" by using some of the eighteen million plastic restaurant cups our kids collect when we go out to eat, thus the proverbial two birds and one stone.

So, we bought regular packages of snacks, and now when we go out we load up our cups (with lids) from Olive Garden, Red Robin, or whatever else is lying around, and voila! Our very own reusable, environmentally friendly, on-the-go snack packs!

Road Trip to the Edge of Sanity, Part 3

The question of road-trip music has been raised, so I thought I would answer it in a separate post. First of all, we have tried very hard to get our kids to listen to music that WE like. We always heard stories of incessant, mind-numbing, kids' songs in the car, so we began exposing them early to Stevie Wonder, Jack Johnson, Maroon 5, and other kinds of music we like.

So, here's what we had on our 60-gig iPod for the trip:

Audio Books: Henry Huggins and Ramona the Brave (Ella Enchanted and James and the Giant Peach are ready for the trip home)
U2: custom playlist of hits & favorite songs
Bill Cosby: the kids say "we want to hear one of YOUR stories"
Custom playlist of various Pop/Rock songs including: KT Tunstall, Barenaked Ladies, Coldplay, Corrine Bailey Rae, Counting Crows, Dave Matthews, The Fray, Jack Johnson, John Mayer, The Police, R.E.M., Sheryl Crow, Toad the Wet Sprocket, Train, U2, The Wallflowers, etc., etc., etc.
Folk Playground by Putumayo

And, believe it or not, we also have periods where we listen to nothing at all! The kids work on their puzzle books, or play with pipe cleaners, or something else.

Thanks for the question, Melissa!

Road Trip to the Edge of Sanity, Part 2

It's been 2 very long rainy days and we've now traversed 7 states in our 8 state tour. Our usual brief stops to play soccer have been replaced by a tour of Wal*Mart in a desperate attempt to stretch our legs and escape the rain. I was telling Cason that hopefully tomorrow will not be rainy and we'll be able to stop and play. She said, "Good. You'll see a lot more happy faces then!"

So what on earth have the children been doing for 26 hours in the car?

Well, we haven't been watching movies. I know this idea will meet with huge resistance and possibly confirm our diagnosis of being mentally ill, but Duane and I don't really like to let the kids watch movies in the car. Before you freak out and go to your next RSS feed, just hear me out. Between us, Duane and I have seen 44 of the 50 states and 14 countries by car. I once spent 2 weeks driving from Michigan to Alaska. I have beautiful pictures in my head of virtually every state in the Union and they didn’t come from TV! They are all mine, created and stored by my brain, one of a kind reminders that the world is a truly amazing place. The benefits of looking out the car window and just being “bored” sometimes cannot be measured. Children these days rarely have down time and always expect to be entertained. So, at the risk of committing one of our own biggest pet peeves, let us say in our best cranky adult voice… "when we were kids, we didn’t have movies in the car and we turned out just fine."

Here's what we have been doing:

• making Pipe Cleaner Statues (this was a HUGE hit)
• using Sticker books
• coloring maps of the states we're traveling through (this is another great site)
• playing Tic Tac Toe
• using the Leap Pad
• making snap together model airplanes
• listening to audio books (Henry Huggins read by Neil Patrick Harris was surprisingly wonderful)
• making aluminum foil art
• drawing
• playing with toy animals
• playing with toy planes
• stringing fruit cheerios necklaces
• eating

The children have done remarkably well considering the rain, but I sure hope it's sunny (like the picture) tomorrow or I'll have to consider checking into the old Sanitarium across from our hotel.

Road Trip to the Edge of Sanity, Part 1

Call us crazy (and many people do), but in a few days we will be embarking on a 3,000-mile road trip with our five-year-old and three-year-old. Friends have met our plan with varied reactions, but all have three things in common. When we tell our friends about our plan, they usually look like their eyes are going to pop out of their head, make some sort of shocked declaration involving a deity, and then question the status of our mental health.

I admit that driving with children across the country does merit some eyebrow raising, but we certainly don'€™t lack experience: we've been grooming Cason for this since she was 6 weeks old. We took her on her very first road trip from Raleigh to Southern Pines - about  2 hours south -€“ just to see what it was like to travel with a breastfeeding newborn. Growing up as a military brat, I had traversed the country by car innumerable times without ever complaining (right Mom and Dad?), so this was very high on the prioritized list of traits to instill in my infant daughter.

Many of you may remember The Great Circle Tour of Aught-five, when we thought it would be a good idea to take a 2 1/2 year-old and a 6-month-old all the way from Texas to Washington, D.C. via North Carolina and (in a very Griswald fashion) through Niagara Falls because it only added 4 hours to our trip from North Carolina to Wisconsin. Did I mention border patrol almost kept the kids in Canada?

The truth is that road trips with small children can be enjoyable, educational, and (dare I say it) even fun! You don't have to sedate them and drive only at night while they are asleep! So, in case you're brave enough to endure gas prices and hit the open road this summer, here are a few tips, tricks, and bits of wisdom we've "€œpicked up"€ along the way:

Eat in the car. If the kids have to be sitting down anyways, you might as well get some miles out of the way. While Duane and I eat, the kids either run around at a park as we picnic or they play on an indoor playground. When Duane and I finish eating we pack up and roll. If you'€™re obsessive about car cleanliness, you might need to put that on hold for a while -€“ after a road trip with the kids there is no possible way that your car will not look like a tornado has ripped through it. If it helps, keep in mind that everything can be cleaned, and believe me, when you're done it will have to be!

(I have not yet found a great way to find parks along our route apart from hoping the road atlas has a few listed, but this Playland finder from McDonald'€™s is a start. Thanks, Heidi!)

Frequent stops. When I get on the road a transformation takes place, my eyes glaze over, my brain starts functioning from an auxiliary area not accessed in daily life and I turn into my father - a man who was so focused and disciplined in the car that he wouldn't even drive past the White House on our way through Washington, D.C. to New Jersey. ("There you go kids, the exit for Pennsylvania Avenue. It's down that road somewhere.") However, with children (especially young ones), you just have to stop. So every 2 hours Duane shakes me from my zombie-like altered consciousness and for 10 minutes or so... we RUN! We bring a soccer ball and kick it around, we play tag, we play superheroes, and we even run to the bathrooms, careful not to leave a wake of old people in our path. We typically add in 1 hour of stopping time for every 5 hours of driving, so our typical 10 hour day on the way up to Wisconsin is calculated as a 12 hour day for for those of us who are obsessed with reaching our goals.

Hotel pool. This is an absolute lifesaver and worth the extra money or extra effort in finding one. There is nothing better after a long day of sitting in the car, than for the children to don their life jackets and toodle around the pool for an hour or more. If your road trip will encompass multiple days in the car, this is a must have. And it'€™s a good way to bribe the kids along all day. "€œIf we stay too long at this park we won'€™t be able to swim tonight."€ That usually gets them moving FAST!

Our next post will be from the Windy City. We'll give you an update of what it's been like to be in the car for 2 straight days with kids, and we'll also talk about how we did it without a DVD player!