Thoughts on Parenting

Video On the Go

DVD makers are finally getting wise to the fact that many of us like to view movies on the go. You may have seen the phrase "Digital Copy" on newly-released DVDs. what this means is that there is a separate disc with a digital file on it - one that can be read by your computer and loaded onto your iPod or other portable player.

But what about all those movies you already own? How do you get those on your iPod or laptop without purchasing a digital version online? We use a free program called Handbrake, and it works beautifully. It is simple and easy to use, and comes in versions for Mac, Windows, and Linux (it's also open source, so you  programmer types can get the raw code).

Handbrake can encode any disc you have, and convert it to any size or format you want (iPod, PSP, laptop, TV, etc.). Though we don't do it very often, we have been saved on numerous occasions by being able to pull out my laptop or Elisa's iPod and give the kids something to watch when we're waiting at the doctor's office at naptime, or when the car breaks down and we're at the mechanic, or we're on a REALLY long road-trip...you get the idea!

Here's a screen Shot:

The Quest for the Perfect Toy

Sometimes I wonder why we even buy toys for the kids at Christmas. Feeling particularly happy with ourselves one Christmas morning a few years back, Duane and I rounded the corner to find the kids in an empty moving box playing pirates -- fancy Disney salon and basketball hoop nowhere to be found on "Ye Olde Pirate Ship". After that, I made one of my famous declarations emphatically stating that for next Christmas we would be visiting U-Haul to find the BEST. PRESENTS. EVER! 

Even though it is a little late in the season, there is help. It's the Parents' Choice Holiday Gift Guide put out by a great nonprofit that monitors quality children's media and toys. Their helpful website allows you to search by age, interest and budget making it pretty easy to get some ideas for toys that actually might get played with beyond Christmas morning. Of course, nothing will ever beat an empty box!

Losing Your Marbles Watching TV

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no more than 2 hours of TV per day for children over 2.

Ever since we had kids, Elisa and I have really had to work hard to cut TV out of our lives. We were raised on Sesame Street, Three's Company, and the A-Team (I love it when a plan comes together), so TV has just sort of come naturally to us. Once we had kids this recommendation from the AAP weighed heavy on us, especially since they recommend NO TV for any child under 2, so we've made an honest effort to prune it from our lives.

First, we tried to cut it out completely for a couple of years when our first was very young. It saved us money and tons of time, and we got to play with Cason a lot more. It was great. Except during football season. And March Madness. And the NBA playoffs. So, basically it was okay in July.

When our kids got older, we got a DVR. This has been great, too, because now we can record shows that we know are okay for them, and we can skip the commercials. (Our kids even know how to do this with the remote. Sometimes we catch them watching the commercials, and when they realize it they say, "we know, we know...they're only trying to get us to buy stuff!) It also allows us to watch our favorite shows whenever we are able to (i.e. after the kids are asleep).

But our latest (and by far the most fun) practice is a jar of marbles.We were trying to figure out a way to give the kids some control over how much TV they watched and when. We had these two small mason jars and some marbles, so we filled one of them up and put it in our bedroom, and put the empty one by the TV. We told the kids that every morning they could take two marbles out of the jar in our room and put them in the jar by the TV, and that each marble represented 1/2 hour of TV. They could watch two shows today, or save them until tomorrow and maybe watch a movie.

They quickly learned to budget their TV time, save it, and spend it appropriately. Now the kids do a lot more imaginative play, reading, embroidery, and other things. Sure, they still watch TV, but not as often. And whenever they ask to watch TV I say, "it'll cost you a marble!"

Children and Movies

As a conscientious parent, it is very difficult navigating our grown up culture. There are far too many ways for my kids to grow up too quickly. When it comes to visual entertainment, it's easy to forget how huge an impact it can have on kids.

Duane and I love movies. Before we had children, we would go to the movies 3-4 times per month. We threw Oscar parties with full on props like the Sixth Sense kid's tent complete with a flashlight and creepy fourth grader. Ok, I'm joking about the fourth grader, but if we'd known a fourth grader at the time, we probably would have rented him out for the night!

Needless to say, once we had kids going to the movies abruptly ground to a halt. Because we try to be very careful about what our kids see on screen, video watching is even challenging. We often joke that the moon, stars and planets have to align for both kids to be asleep early enough on a night when Duane and I are still awake and have no work to do.

Kids-in-Mind is a terrific website that really helps us know what might be appropriate for our kids and what might not. It gives a rating of 1-10 in three categories: Sex/Nudity, Violence/Gore, and Profanity. The reviews also list occurrences of substance abuse and suggest relevant issues to discuss with your kids. We have become quite familiar with the ratings and what we are willing to tolerate. (Just so you know, we don't usually go higher than a 2.3.2)