Don't forget the baby!

I remember the first time I heard about a baby being accidentally left in a hot car. I was working for the Red Cross and my boss was about to have her first baby. We discussed how on earth something like that could happen. She expressed an understanding and fear that the same thing could happen to her. I, however, as a newly married and childless 22-year old could not possibly see how such a thing could ever happen to a loving, attentive parent. How do you forget your own child?

Of course, that was nearly 15 years ago. I’ve now weathered the difficult waters of infancy and toddlerhood as a parent. I now completely understand how such a terribly tragic mistake could occur. As a parent, especially a new parent, we are surrounded by a swirling vortex of sleep-deprivation and chaos, the likes of which can make your freshman year in college look like a cake walk. Our list of a million modern day things to keep track of suddenly jumps to over a billion little details that our highly adpated, yet still human minds, must coordinate. Pack the bottles, brush teeth (mine, not the baby’s), bathe two humans, get dressed, check for spit up stains, pack the nursing cover up, diapers, wipes, sun hat, sunscreen, matching shoes (mine AND the baby’s), finger foods, water and snacks (mine, not the baby’s), changing pad, change of clothes (mine AND baby’s), plastic bag for poopy diapers. The list is truly endless. Add to that list work obligations, car trouble, meetings, flights, meal plans, etc. and it soon becomes quite easy to imagine yourself doing the unthinkable.

In a gut wrenching article on the topic of parents who forget their children in their carseats, Gene Weingarten of the Washington Post, does a terrific job of presenting a very human view of the parents who have done such a thing. The article is long, but well worth the read. It will make an impression on your brain, no matter how busy and cluttered it may be, and hopefully, on a very busy day when the details your brain continually tracks are beginning to slip, this article will still be there in the back of your mind preventing another unthinkable and horrifying death.

Here are a few of the suggestions from KidsAndCars.org about minimizing your risk of leaving your child in his or her carseat:

Always put something you'll need for work -- cellphone, handbag, employee badge, etc. -- on the floor of the back seat, near the child.
 
Keep a large teddy bear in the child's car seat when it's not occupied. When the child is placed in the seat, put the teddy bear up front in the passenger seat. It's a visual reminder that anytime the teddy bear is in the passenger seat, the child is in the back.
 
Make arrangements with your child's day-care provider or babysitter that you will always call them if your child will not be there on a particular day as scheduled. Ask them to always phone you if your child does not show up when expected.

Comments

[Kate Marek (Susan Labarr's sister)]

Elisa,
Thanks for sharing this article--it was heartbreaking, but good to read. I want to have my own kids some day, but things like this frighten me immensely. I appreciate the ideas about how to keep your head together once it is filled with all the usual things PLUS taking care of a baby.

Thanks again--I love reading your blogs!

[elisa]

The content in the article is tough to read, but I thought it was very well done, and as a writer I'm sure you could appreciate that aspect, too. Thanks so much for reading the blogs! (And BTW, your sister is pretty awesome!)

[Anonymous friend]

Elisa,

I have not told anyone this - not even my husband - but I left my baby in the car while I went into Hallmark one day. I had a friend in the car and she forgot about the baby too. We just started chatting and went inside. It was not until we returned to the car, laughing and chatting that I saw the carrier through the window. I just slinked to the ground and sobbed. My friend got the baby out and I could hardly even look at him. I just cried out, "I am sorry... I am sorry..." He had been asleep in his infant carrier for 25 minutes. It was at 8:40 at night on a cool evening. My life was changed that day. Hopefully forever. But it COULD have been changed forever in a much more tragic, unimaginable way. I am not sure why my baby was protected that day and these parents' kids were not. I would never say that God chose to protect me and not them... I just know that judging parents (or people in general) is so hard when we consider how much Christ loves and forgives us. We certainly don't deserve his love and forgiveness but we are required to return that love and forgiveness to these parents who have made this fateful mistake.

P.S. I have started putting my purse behind my seat in front of the carseat for this very reason. I am not naive enough to think this could not happen to me again. Like the article said, "If you are capable of forgetting your cell phone, you are capable of forgetting your child."

[elisa]

Anonymous,

Thanks so much for having the courage to share your story with us!

[Jennie Trowbridge]

Because this is a growing problem in our nation, I began a public awareness campaign
called, "Don't Forget Your Child" in an effort to mainstream this slogan into our
society as a means of educating and reminding parents of this tragedy. Please
visit the website, dontforgetyourchild.org for the goals of this organization.